Pulp And Circumstance.

Materials

2012-01-29T13:54:00.000-06:00

Conservation is all about materials. It is about history, but the history of materials. It is about treatment, but the treatment of materials. That's why chemistry is such an importation element in conservation.

I have started a recent project working on textiles, and I look forward to learning more about the materials involved in textiles. The structure of silk thread, the sensitivity of cotton to chemicals, etc. When you work with different materials, you have to research and read as much as you can on said materials. In conservation you deconstruct the materials in order to assess the situation. So I currently am reading more about textiles and trying to understand the histories, strengths and weaknesses of various weaving patterns, and looking forward to learning more about the basis of the textile: the material.

Hopefully my next post will delve into the subject more.

My Oh My

2011-12-05T12:14:00.001-06:00

In the next week I have the following important things:

Finals
The OFFICIAL end of my Northwestern Internship
The due date of the NYU application
My sister's bridal shower and bachelorette party, both of which I co-planned, and both of which are happening in New York
Two of my very good friend's birthdays

LIFE.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:18:00.001-06:00

So, its early in the morning and time to celebrate the best day in America. :0)

Today I'm thankful for my family, my friends and the awesome people that have helped me along in life. As I am gathering together all my information for grad school, I've realize how many people have helped me along the way and how lucky I am to have been given all the opportunties in my life. In the end, thanks.

Now, onto baking!

Applications

2011-11-20T18:31:00.001-06:00

I have finally started putting together applications, working on my personal statements and thinking very seriously about my future in conservation (although, really, I'm always thinking very seriously about my future in conservation). Although its true, I am slowly realizing that writing "I think conservation is literally the coolest thing in the world" is not an acceptable personal statement. So here I go, talking about the value of material culture and the power of objects in history, including personal history. Also, include my experiences? And somehow how its the perfect combination of art and science? So many things, so few pages.

I have also started the final phase of my internship at Northwestern: report writing. It should be mentioned, maybe I have mentioned already, maybe not, that writing reports is the bread and butter of conservation. Treatment reports. Condition reports. Reports. REPORTS! Its not necessarily the most fun, especially since I am still learning (read: NOT GREAT), but it is arguably the most important. You have to take good notes, people. Forever and always. So my life is currently devoted to the computer screen and typing, either for my internship or my applications. YAY!

Hopefully, my next post will be about my new internship at the Field Museum, I'm working on textiles. It's super cool. Talk about that later.

Back to writing my personal statement. Summary: I love art! I love science! I love working with my hands! Trust me...I WANT THIS! Conservation is the coolest.

My First Presentation

2011-11-13T10:22:00.001-06:00

This past week, Northwestern hosted a meeting of the CACG, the Chicago Area Conservation Group. The presentation was titled, "Creating Conservation Partnerships: How Education, Outreach and Digitization Initiatives Influence Conservation Treatment." I was part of it. I presented for about five minutes, not too bad, about my internship and how I worked on my respective treatments. I'll be presenting a longer version of this presentation at next month's Interns Talk, but this was my first introduction to the whole thang.

Let me start by saying I got SO nervous, my voice was shaking, and I literally ran out of breath at the end. It was scary. Beyond that, I don't think I said anything incriminating or politically incorrect. Sometimes, in conservation, if you use the wrong terminology it doesn't just look dumb, it looks bad. Its important to be clear and honest, because your choice of action if very important. Anyways, I was scared I'd mess up a word, and it'd suddenly sound like I was doing something terrible. Luckily, that didn't happen. Afterwards, I was able to speak with a few of the conservators at the Art Institute and some private conservators. It was definitely interesting speaking with them, and hearing about their professional experiences.

So, it was alright. Not great. I got too nervous. But it's over. And I didn't say anything too bad. And I know that eventually, I'll get more comfortable talking about conservation treatments and such. Overall, it was a great time, beyond my nerves.

Decisions? Decisions!

2011-10-30T19:55:00.003-05:00

So as I apply to programs, I reassess my current situation. Needless to say, registering for class in the upcoming semester is leaving me a bit confused as to my next step. Anyways, to entertain, here is a treatment I recently performed. Its a basic fill, but with lots of toning and some in-painting.

The thing about this whole treatment is that its all reversible, everything I inpainted was done on fills, so a removable japanese tissue. Anyways here is the before...

And after.

Its a Soviet Era poster that we're putting up on display. Its just a section of the treatment. But I am pretty proud of this little section.

Preparation.

2011-10-26T12:08:00.000-05:00

So, I will be taking the GREs in t minus 6 days, I also will be presenting a short slide show about my internship for the Chicago Area Conservation Guild in two weeks, and starting a new internship next Friday, so it looks like a lot of things are coming down the pipe. Oh, yeah, also applications? And class? And still interning? And planning my sister's bridal shower, in New York?

So I guess, what I'm going to talk about now is preparation, and the fact that I am doing all of this in preparation for preparation. To be a conservator, nowadays, you have to go to grad school. I mean, there is a way to get out of it, but the 'easiest' way to is go to grad school. Grad school prepares you for a life in conservation. And I am currently preparing myself for a life of grad school (hopefully, if I get in, etc).

I guess what I'm saying is I am still doing warm up laps for the qualifying round, and my legs are getting tired. But stronger?

I have always done alright in school, and taken it pretty seriously, but I've always been a bit aimless. I liked art, but I knew I wasn't going to be a professional artist. I liked history and English, but I knew I'd never want careers in the fields. I've always appreciated science, but never really saw myself as a scientist. I've had interests, but nothing I'd bend over backwards for. Now, boy oh boy, do I have something. Its tiring constantly working toward and thinking about a single goal. I'm not necessarily a one-track mind type person, but I guess, I've learned in the past few years, I can be.

So now I feel like its strange seeing myself as an all-consumed type, as a workaholic, as someone who is leaving the house at 8AM and not getting home until 11PM, on a regular basis. It's weird being in a place in your life where you think, wow, I wish I could sleep less, it'd give me SO MUCH MORE TIME! But, alas, that's where I am. And hopefully I can keep this up for a while, as it seems like this lifestyle isn't going to end any time soon.

So yeah, trying to be an art conservator, not even BEING one, is not necessarily a laid back experience, but its fun. And I am learning so much. And I get to do cool things. And I get to make cool things. So yeah. I guess that's it.

For now I'll keep on prepping, hoping things fall into place, and I am able to keep this thing up for quite some time.

Freak Out Mode

2011-10-23T17:20:00.000-05:00

I am set to the the GREs November 1st, and have effectively decided that starting November, I will seriously begin the application process. What is also means is that I have officially entered freak out mode.

When people get to know me, at least initially, they would not guess I am so nervous inside. I like to think I present myself as a laid back individual, that being said, I go into freak out mode at times, especially when things get intense. I'm not mean, or crazy, or anything, just a nervous person/constant worrier. While I have been talking about this nebulous art conservation thing, starting now, with studying for GRES and putting together portfolio pieces and all these things, I am starting to go into freak out mode. Its becoming real, and that is scary. VERY SCARY.

So anyways, here comes the realness.

Care of Paper Artifacts/The Sleepaway Camp for Conservators

2011-09-25T17:36:00.000-05:00

I was really lucky to take a student assistant position at the Campbell Center this past week. One of the conservators at Northwestern teaches a class called the Care of Paper Artifacts, and she offered that I come with her and "assist" while also getting to take the class for myself. While most of the lab work we did was a review from the past six months at Northwestern, a lot of the lecture was new information to me. It was, overall, a very great experience.

WARNING: I will now go on a tangent about the Cambpell Center.

The Campbell Center is a small but amazing institution located in Mt. Carroll, IL about 3 hours west of Chicago. It is run out of the few buildings that used to be Shimer College (a school that still exists, on the IIT campus). The center offers courses on historic preservation, collections care and conservation. Its a small place, and everyone gets to know everyone. You live there-- sleep in dorms, eat meals together and explore the area together. Its really great.

I had heard about the Campbell Center my senior year of college, when I really started working in conservation. I remember flipping through the catalog, and eyeing the paper conservation classes, hoping that one day I could afford to take them (there are scholarships offered, and many of the classes are reasonably priced, but I was indecisive and about to graduate, so I did not investigate further). It really is amazing that a little over one year later, I am taking the course for free, and helping other people in the class with things like building passive humidification chambers and poulticing with methyl cellulose.

The course was a very solid introduction to paper conservation techniques, ethics and history. The students came from all walks of life, some were librarians and teachers, others were technicians and preparators and everyone was very interested. It was interesting to see other people deal with the methods I had been taught, and exciting to discuss conservation with other people interested in the field.

The truth is, the Campbell Center is a small place, and a non-for-profit, and in a small town in western Illinois. It is also a really special place, where people who love history and art can come together and talk and learn about the best way to care for our history and preserve our past. Also, all the instructors are very respected in their field, so its not in any way backwoods and shady (which in the wild west of conservation/restoration, is something you may stumble upon).

I had a great time and recommend anyone interested in learning more about specific topics in conservation or preservation checking out this great place.

Quite a Whirlwind...

2011-09-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

I was really lucky to be able to go to the Winterthur/University of Delaware Portfolio day this past week, along with a small side trip to New York City. Turns out, it was a lot of fun and very educational in the sense that is showed me what EXACTLY is expected of my application to grad programs.

The Winterthur Program at the University of Delaware is on its own small estate, formerly owned by the Du Pont family. Its a wonderful museum, and a really beautifully landscaped estate. The grounds of the Winterthur are very historical, and you get a sense that this is is exactly what a program called the Witherthur should look like. What I'm trying to say is its SOOO FANCY! haha.

I was able to tour the various labs, and speak with some first year fellows in the conservation program, including meeting Heather from Repair The Tear, who was super helpful in telling me all about her pre-program experience.

Moral of the story: its a lot. You have to be prepared to answer in depth questions. You have to really want it. You have to be a chemist, an artist, an art historian. You have to be prepared to devote yourself to conservation. I am ready, emotionally. Now it all comes down to compiling/creating a really compelling portfolio, with lots of reporting and research, along with actually applying.

:0)

I will be assisting a paper conservation class at the Campbell Center next week, so I'll hopefully post again about my experiences there. Photos from my trip still to come.

Excited, but tired.

2011-09-05T13:56:00.001-05:00

I love things that happen at the last minute....I hate them but I love them. Well my internship at Northwestern was SUPPOSED to end the 1st of this month, then, on the 28th of August, I get called to the preservation director's office. My heart starts beating fast, and I don't want to jump to conclusions, but in shocking twist, things worked out. They offered to extend my position until December. I said yes. YES!! haha. I may have been a bit loud considering the library atmosphere. I was very excited.

I should mention, that I really really REALLY am thankful for Northwestern. They want me to go to grad school almost as much as I do. The conservators are so supportive and friendly, the atmosphere is similarly so. They're truly a great set up and I cannot believe how lucky I am to have this opportunity.

Now that means I will be taking three studio art classes, interning and volunteering, not to mention I have yet to take the GREs and will be slowly putting together my actual program applications. Oh life. So intense.

Anyways, I am extremely excited, and now looking forward to my visit to the Winterthur programs portfolio day NEXT WEEK, but I am tired, trying to finish things, and catch up, even though the semester has only started. AAHH life, it never stops.

Starting Over. Again. And Again.

2011-08-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

So today is the first day of the Fall semester at the community college where I will be loading up on all the art requirements for conservation school. Although I've already taken two classes, I still have three outstanding, so this fall I will complete the pre-reqs. What does that mean? Well, I will most likely be VERY tired of making art by the end of this whole thing, and my hand skills will probably be at their best. Art is like exercise, the more ya do it, the better ya get...so I will be a MASTER by December.. haha.

Beyond that, my internship at Northwestern is winding down, and suddenly, I feel as though I have not taken nearly enough advantage of it. Of course, that's how it always feels, but I will be cramming these last few weeks with photo-documention, report writing and book binding, hoping that all the disparate pieces come together in the last weeks.

Needless to say, I am quite stressed, but hopefully, it'll all come together. RIGHT? RIGHT?!?! haha.

We shall see......

Treatment Photos

2011-08-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

I've been finally taking some AFTER TREATMENT photos, so here a few before and afters. Just for funsies.

LINING:

Before

After.

Fills. Using toned Japanese tissue, wheat starch paste.

Before

After.

Flattening, Separating.

Before.

After.

Washing and Lining

2011-08-04T23:56:00.001-05:00

Going from this .....

to this...

I took some pictures of washing and lining newsprint. I did this with methyl cellulose, although in the past I have been using wheat starch paste. I gotta say, its pretty fun getting all the pieces together...

side note: there is purposefully a small space between the two largest pieces, because the object will eventually be folded....

Well, Well, Well.

2011-07-31T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've updated. I should post new pictures and such, but I'm not there yet. Anyways, I have finally finished my Chemistry class, and I feel incredibly relieved. Its not that the class was particularly difficult, but it was particularly time intensive. I now have about a month before my next group of classes start (all studio art!) and a GRE to take. The plan? Study in August, and finish up my internship at Northwestern strong, take the GRE in September and then go to the Delaware's portfolio day in the middle of the month. Probably return feeling unprepared and totally distraught over the high level of applicant portfolios. ha.

Luckily, I've been able to find a few volunteer conservation things to take up my time after my internship ends in September--Fingers crossed I will be working on a project in the Field Museum and I will definitely be at the Oriental Institute, helping with a metals rehousing project. Beyond that, three classes will take up a lot of my time as well. As for now, I will take this weekend off, have fun, and start up again tomorrow, emailing people, drawing, organizing and memorizing vocab words for the GRE.

50%

2011-07-04T12:52:00.000-05:00

Today is the Fourth of July, arguably one of the best holidays because 1) it's not religious, 2) its about unity and celebrating the diversity and awesomeness that is America, and 3) its done that by eating food and sitting outside enjoying the July sun with people you generally like and/or love. Also, pretty much no one works, so you can see family and relax without the pressure of gift giving or anything like that. As a psuedo-immigrant (I always feel weird claiming that since I was a year old when my family moved to America and have no recollections of a life outside of Illinois), I have always held a strong connection to American pride and what it meant, because of my distinct awareness of what America has provided me. However, in some ways, my own experiences, and those of my family in their emmigration, have definitely provided me with what I like to call a 'realistic' approach to life, something that I definitely think has affected my choices and my view of this whole career in a field that is very difficult to get into and very difficult to continue in.

I guess I'll start anectodal. Everyone likes to splurge a bit, and though I make a small amount from my internship at Northwestern, the one thing I allow myself to buy is coffee at the library coffeeshop during my lunch break. Yes, its 1.85 each day, but for me, thats my frivoulous expense, and I savor the luxury of a warm cup during the middle of a long day (with chem class afterwards its pretty much non-stop from 8am to 1030pm). Well, on this cup, at the half way mark is on of those cutesly little markers that says "half way full". Adorable, right? So everyday, I sit and stare at that little marker, and think about how important optimism seems to be in this country. But, I myself, am no optimist, and you know what? I think thats okay. I think when you have half a cup of coffee, its not half full, its not half empty, you just have half a cup of coffee. Savor what you got, accept that you already had half, and be done. In many ways, people think this approach is a bit, well, negative but I think approaching life realistically prepares you for the worst and lets you savor the best.

As my mom has always told me, have low expectations and high aspirations (which I'm sure is from something, but I don't know what, so I will attribute it to mama sorokin). In the end, I guess that's how I view my personal pursuit of conservation. Its not perfect, I have had to make sacrifices and struggle with things, but at the same time, I know that if I work hard enough, eventually it will come. I do not expect miracles, I do savor when things go well. And you know what? I enjoy when I have half a cup of coffee, because that means half is already inside my belly, and the other half is still waiting for me in the cup.

Rinse, Repeat

2011-06-24T12:24:00.000-05:00

I've taken to my sick bed today. Yesterday, during a chemistry exam, I am pretty confident my fever broke. While walking to my car after class, I could not stop shaking, and I blasted the heat in the car on my drive home. I'm sick. Its unfortunate timing.

The nice thing is its giving me a moment to rest, and breath, and get inspired once more. These past few weeks have been great, but also quite intensive (and it doesn't seem like they'll get less so any time soon). I have had to take two steps back in order to go forward, and even though I have completed the organic chemistry requirements for grad school, I am currently enrolled in Chemistry I at the local community college.

Unfortunately, because of how my college AP credits worked, I never actually took Chemistry I and II, so now I am sitting through the basic classes, and trying to remind myself that I should not get too comfortable in them. So now, four nights a week, I am going to my chemistry class, along with working at Northwestern, and I was supposed to start volunteering, well, today. That didn't happen.

I guess my past few weeks have been about repetition, or more like, swallowing your pride and accepting that you have to go back and re-do things sometimes, even if you really don't want to. I think we can all agree that no conservator (or aspiring conservator) dreams of re-taking chemistry, or, in the case of a recent book treatment of mine, undoing the entire treatment to reduce the size of the end bands, and re-doing the whole thing. It's frustrating. But the best way to learn is to repeat, and so I continue on.

Nothing good happens after 2AM

2011-06-05T19:18:00.000-05:00

Sometimes things happen that totally throw you off balance. At this point, everything is okay-ish, but things happened yesterday that really knocked me out of whack. Its almost silly at times to think about how life works out and how things can surprise you, how quickly life can be great, and then go to, well, poo. We as people are so easily breakable, and fragile, and we have so little control about so many things in the world. Sometimes life surprises you, and all you can do is keep on trying your best. I guess that's what this post it actually about. TRYING.

Being a conservator is generally a 9 to 5 gig, but at the same time, it becomes your life. There is a lot of sacrifice that goes into following your dream, and a lot of rejection during your pursuit. At times it seems like I'm not sure how one can work so hard and tirelessly for something that isn't guaranteed, but you realize quickly that's its only through sacrifice and endless tries that you can finally make it. At least I hope so.
I am generally a very indecisive person, indecision is something I am known for. Never ask me to pick a place to eat lunch, I won't decide until dinner-time. One thing I have never questioned, however, is my interest in conservation. I want it. I really do. I question my abilities. I question my weaknesses. I question my natural disposition. I have never questioned my true desire for it.

That desire is what makes its easier for me to bleed for it, sometimes literally (hello scalpel!). I have decided to pursue conservation, and although I plan to apply to programs in the fall, I do not plan to get in (very few do the first time). I have accepted that I must keep taking classes, keep bending over backwards to get a moment in a lab, keep calling random people and inviting myself over to their place of work, and above all else keep learning. I must push myself farther, and wear myself out, trying, because if I don't, well then, nothing will happen. And nothing happening is the biggest fear.

You never know where life will take you, or how it will take you there, but all you can do is try to get where you want to go, and hope that what happens retains some semblance to what you wanted out of it all. I guess that's what I feel today.

FILLS, LOSSES, SATISFACTION

2011-05-30T12:17:00.000-05:00

So, whenever I get back home from my internship, my mom or dad (who, yes, I still live with because sacrifices people!, and my parents are supportive, etc, etc.) ask me "what did you do at 'work' today?" (I am always unsure, does a paid internship count as work? Or more like some sort of fantastic education thing? Anyways, in my family, its work, but I am hesitant to call it that, especially because work is generally not as supportive and educational, while my internship is pretty cool on all accounts).

Moral of the story is, I often simply respond with, "worked on the Law Scrapbooks," and don't explain what that means. So here is a basic introduction to my set up when working with the scrapbooks....

What I actually do with them? A lot of things. I've been very lucky that Northwestern identified the scrapbooks as a teaching tool for my development as an aspiring conservator. In the process of treating the scrapbooks, I've been able to pretty much dabble in a variety of approaches. Most of the time, however, I have been poulticing with methyl cellulose (A4M at either 5 percent or 2.5 percent) or filling losses and mending with Japanese tissue.

At work this week, I was alone for a few minutes so I snapped a couple of cell phone pictures (pardon the graininess), of an average fill I will do on any given day. This one is honestly not a great fill, but it is representative of the process of doing a fill with Japanese tissue and the greatest, time-tested water soluble adhesive, wheat starch paste.

So I begin with loss. How sad a little triangle of paper is GONE! Luckily, it is not where there is text and its simply visually unpleasant. Also, because of its location, if handled, the loss could potentially catch and tear the paper, so this must be fixed....

I recently learned how to tone paper, and made two different tones, a deep orange brown for the yellowing papers and a cooler bluish brown for papers that seem to have that hue. Both tissues were toned with acrylics and deionized water. I used a very lightweight tengujo paper that I often layer over heavier duty tissues when filling losses in thicker paper. In order to tone the fill but not make it too bright, I actually filled the loss first with an uncolored thicker tissue and then placed the toned tengujo behind, to layer the colors. Here is what it looks like from the back, you can see the color saturation where the tengujo is overlapping with the original paper and getting very dark.

I adhered the tissues using wheat starch paste. Instead of simply brushing the paste directly onto the tengujo I actually pasted up a piece of mylar and laid the tengujo onto it to minimize the amount of paste used in the repair. I really like this method when working with thinner tissues because it seems to making handing easier and reduce the amount of foreign substrate you are adding to your object. Its something I just learned, moral of the story: BIG FAN.

I sliced off the excess tissue after the paper had properly dried and voila! FIXED. Obviously you can still see a color difference, and that's okay, I'm not pretending the repair never happened, however, the toning allows for the colors to blend a little bit better than a bright white tissue.

Refresh.

2011-05-24T23:42:00.000-05:00

I have decided to start blogging again. Maybe its the summer air finally settling in, maybe its the fact I have better things to do and kindly oblige myself to any distraction that presents itself, maybe its because I am growing increasingly nervous about conservation and future-stuffs, maybe its because after my trip to NYC I am more inspired about conservation (which would take me from VERY inspired to EXTREMELY inspired, which translates into blogging I guess?), maybe its well--honestly, let's stop psychoanalyzing and start blogging...

Anyways, I guess today I will talk about my current situation, and hopefully, keep updates as I learn new stuff and have good pictures.

Soooo....
I am currently in a pretty good position (not perfect, it never is, but at the same time I am feeling okay). After graduating I interned briefly at the Chicago History Museum but when a full-time position presented itself, I took it (even though it had absolutely nothing to do with my dreams of conservation), I kept applying to conservation things and kept being rejected, and after nine months, I finally was offered a 50 percent time internship at Northwestern's library conservation lab. I was PUMPED. I still AM PUMPED. They are great. I really mean this from the bottom of my heart. SO GREAT. I am not an optimist, at all, so when I say they are great, I MEAN it. haha.

Since I started in March, I have been working with the two conservators, two technicians and one conservation fellow, along with sitting in on preservation meetings with the whole preservation staff. It's been great. As a Chicagoan, I have always felt a certain hesitation when it came to Northwestern (I guess the reputation preceded them), but all of those preconceptions have been eviscerated. The people who work at Northwestern ( I don't interact with the student body very much, so I can't say very much about them) are incredibly nice and smart people. Also incredibly supportive and patient with me! As an intern, I have been taught SO much!

Anyways--what do I do at Northwestern? Well, at this point I have been working on a few various projects, specifically a survey of the Falke Collection, Arabic manuscripts from Northern Africa, and a very time intensive treatment of the Northwestern Law Scrapbooks (made in about 1930). I will leave specific details for later posts, because at this point, this one is already too long, and I have reading to do!

I guess for now I'll just talk about my personal experiences with conservation in general, and that is that it is hard to get started. I remember in my second year of college, I got interested in conservation, and I did not find a lab who would let me do things until my senior year. Conservation is a really welcoming field, conservators love their job (which makes sense, because it's pretty much the coolest), but at the same time, many people hesitate to let a random person touch priceless artifacts. I totally understand why this is, but at the same time, its been a learning curve, and with more experience comes more opportunities.

Alright, I'm done posting for now but hopefully I'll update soon with some actual NEWS or STORIES....